Today, October 8, 2024, I walked into my home ready to put down my bookbag, lunch bag and jacket into/onto their designated spots. And then go about my daily routine. Which consists of putting Papito away in his enclosed cage so my cats and dog can’t get to him. Cover his open cage so the cats can’t use it as a litter box. Then release my other pets. But today as I was putting down my stuff I noticed that things were not as they should be. First the lettuce leaves that I had placed in his cage for him to snack on in the morning were still present; second the fact that he was still in the lower cage. Normally he’s in his upper cage (enclosed cage) or if he’s in the lower cage (open cage) he’s making his way to the upper cage. But not today. He wasn’t running/hiding or chewing. He was lying still.
I knew something was wrong. Because Papito has never seen a fruit or vegetable he didn’t like and he always cleared up any lettuce that I had left in his cage. Yesterday, I left half of an entire Romaine lettuce cluster. There was not a speck of green left in his cage. But today, most of the leaves were untouched if not unmoved from where I had so carelessly tossed them this morning. Before gathering my things, yelling goodbye and leaving for work.
He was in his house with only his head poking out and his teeth still posed for another bite of lettuce. I freaked out. I kept calling him. Hoping he would move, that he would blink, give a shiver and squeak in surprise to see me home and scurry up to his top enclosure. But none of those things happened. When I moved the house, he still didn’t move. When I picked him up he didn’t wiggle in protest. He didn’t bug his eyes out like he feared this would be the day I would eat him. He did nothing. His body was stiff and cool to the touch. His eyes didn’t blink. His chest didn’t rise or fall. Even when I stared at it. Held it to my ear, and touched his nose. I knew, but I didn’t want to believe it.
Papito was gone. He had been gone. All the signs were there.
I missed that moment. I didn’t get to say goodbye to him, hold him or comfort him in his final moments. I wasn’t there. I didn’t know.
In fact I was just bragging about the fact that he was so old and doing so well. How happy he seemed to have other animals around even if he didn’t interact with them much. How he was packing away the lettuce so fast that I was starting to wonder if I needed to buy two large packs rather than one. I thought he was going to continue to be the exception to the rule and live long as a grumpy old man. Who would stare me down if I thought about leaving the house without first giving him his treat. Who would indignantly squeak at me if I dared to forget to top off his hay feed. Who would knock his food bowl against his water bowl to let me know his water was low or no longer fresh enough.
Who will be my best friend as long as the food was in my hands but then run away from me once it ran out. Who would be cheeky and chew on any piece of wooden furniture he could get his teeth on. Who would, if given a moment of inattentiveness, take several nips out of electric cords not to be found until days or months later. Who would watch in judgmental chewing as I played with his new brothers and sister and taught them the house rhythms.
After Pedro passed it was me and him for two whole years. But you know while I am sad, I think he held on. He made sure I was good that I had others to lean on and I wouldn’t be in the home alone.
He knew I was good. So he chose a good time. Even though I wasn’t there, his siblings were.
It hurts. It will hurt for a while and it’s hard. But I know he and Pedro are in heaven fighting over food and trying to one up each other. Most importantly he went out the way he lived eating and pooping.
I love you Papito. I miss you! I look forward to seeing you both again one day. Thanks for being my companion when I needed one the most. I love you old man and I wish you the best forever and always.
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